Screens.
They hold our eyeballs hostage. Our imaginations captured by the mundane, the trivial, the distracting…
Oh look, a shiny toy!
Our friendships fritter, marriages decay, children neglected.
“Let’s hang out!” “Yes, Let’s do coffee really soon!” “Cool, let me know when works for you!”
Weeks pass.
A chance encounter.
Awkward silence. Vague acknowledgements. Weak attempts to reschedule…
Nothing happens.
The loneliness is overwhelming. Everyone is thriving on Facebook.
Look! A new wedding! Vacation in Bali!. Picture-perfect families!
“I’m engaged!” “A new job!” “Lost the baby weight!”
The screens suck you in. A welcome escape from the imperfections around you.
Bah, the snot rags, diapers, burned dinner, deflated cake…
Messy desk, late bills, missed deadlines, extra 10 pounds…
Silent phone, no comments on latest post, conspicuous zit…
Late for PTA, tissue under shoe, new hair on chin and bags under eyes…
156th job rejection, Laundry piles, dejection…
Stranger in the reflection staring back at you.
And the point?
Life is messy. We can compare up and hide in embarrassment because everyone else seems to be doing better than we are.
Or, we can show up and be present for the ones we love. Those who truly love you will be grateful for your presence, flaws and all. In fact, showing up, with your imperfections, allows others to show up as they truly are.
I will paraphrase Brene Brown who says, perfectionism is a mask that you use to keep you from being rejected but actually keeps you from being seen.
I read somewhere that 1 in 4 people suffer from loneliness.
Step away from the screens, show up and engage in your real life. Your presence just might save a life, if not yours!
How to practice presence:
1. Put aside all screens and distractions.
2. Pay attention to your senses. Take deep breaths.
3. Keep your eyes on your subject (no glaring or staring… you don’t want to weird them out, do you?)
4. Remember why you are doing this. Love. You really want to be present because you love this person.
5. Relax, smile, enjoy your self and focus on the positive.
6. Practice presence as often as possible.
How do you intend to practice presence today? Please share your thoughts below!
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